The View From The Bottom
by Forever Awesomer
Summary: Castiel messed up big this time. He lost his one love, an angel that he met in heaven. It was because of him and his pride that she fell. Can he ever make it up to her? Will it ever be the same?
1. Scar Tissue

Scar Tissue.

I woke up on the dusty Kansas ground. My head throbbed, my back bleeding, and my arm was most likely broken. But that pain was nothing compared to the pain I felt as he watched me fall. The look in his eyes was a mixture of shame, guilt, regret, and pain yet he hadn't tried to stop it. As they brutally ripped my wings from my back, I couldn't tear my gaze from his eyes. He had tried to look away but I kept staring at him. I wanted him to know the betrayal I felt.

I blacked out, the blood loss from where they ripped my wings off was to great for my new human body to endure. When I finally came too, infernal beeping was coming from a heart monitor to my left. Is this what I have come to? Having to be healed by a doctor? Being left on the side of the road with no way to even move? I used to be powerful, and I still would be if I didn't have a weak spot for that _angel_. I cursed loudly and a nurse walked in.

"Are you in any pain?" she had a southern drawl and her name tag read Judy.

I looked away. I refused to answer such a stupid question. If I had my powers I would have healed myself by now. She looked at me waiting for an answer. I felt pity for the poor lady so I answered.

"I woke up on the side of the road with a broken arm, a pounding headache, and a bloody back. What do you think?"

She bit her lip. "What is your name? We can contact your family, get you home."

Family? My family pushed me out of heaven and let me fall to earth. Literally.

"My name is Angie Singer. My only remaining family is Bobby singer, he lives in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Can I leave now?"

"Well we would like to keep you under observation, but legally your fine and we can't keep you here."

"Then I'm out. How far is it to South Dakota?"

Maybe your confused. I am an angel. I'm not related to Bobby Singer, and my name is _not_ Angie. The only being who knows my actual name is Castiel. I was in heaven helping out with things, mostly just keeping the peace. After a while I saw myself spending more and more time with Castiel. Eventual I developed feelings for him, I never felt as alive as when I was with him. I found out later that it was a mutual attraction. We started dating but told no one. It was frowned upon to date each other, but not illegal. Murdering another angel was. Of course I never, ever would kill another of my kind, but some one framed me. So Raphael ripped off my wings and pushed my down from heaven. The worst part was that Castiel was with me when the angel was getting murdered. Off course that excuse of an angel refused to tell anyone in fear his own reputation would be ruined. At least he saved me from being killed. I was originally scheduled for execution, but Castiel talked the council into making me fall instead. Not that falling is any better.

I slowly limped onto the Singer Salvage Yard. I yelled, hoping that if he knew I was there he wouldn't try to kill me. When I heard a shot gun cock behind me I knew my efforts were wasted.

"Who the hell are you!" and I thought the nurse had an accent. Bobby's drawl could put Cletus from The Simpsons to shame.

"I didn't come for no trouble" I tried to imitate his accent and failed miserably. He must of noticed the imitation and it only made him madder. In a matter of seconds he had me pinned to the ground and in a few more I was passed out. I'm really starting to hate being a human.

I woke up chained to a chair in a dingy room. I looked like it was made of iron and there was a mass amount of weapons lined on the walls. A fan was slowly spinning above and on the floor was a gigantic devils trap. He thinks I'm a demon. Considering the circumstance I would have chained me in a demon proof room to. The cuffs were starting to bother me, one was digging into my broken arm. The steady rhythm of the fan was slowly making me go mad and I looked around for some way out. Just as I gave up all hope of ever getting free Bobby walked in, shot gun in hand.

"Oh thank god. My captor just might be my savior" I smirked. Bobby was interesting, maybe now I wouldn't go completely bonkers. Who am I kidding, I'm already at least half-mad.

"Thats nice Shakespeare. Now tell me what the hell you are before I load you full of buckshot."

"As of this moment, I'm human." I replied

"What do you mean as of this moment?" he was skeptical, that much was clear but everything else about him was bewildering. I smirked and didn't answer. He must have believed that I was human because he didn't try and shoot me.

"Whats your name?" He lowered the gun.

"The only man I told my name to betrayed me and left me for dead."

"I'm so very sorry princess." he sneered. I was starting to like Bobby Singer.

"Can you please un-cuff me?"

"Why are you here?" that was a no.

"I need protection. Thats what you do right, protect people, kill things?" I was starting to get desperate. What if he couldn't help me. I wanted revenge on who framed me and I was beginning to think he was my only chance. Just as he was going to answer there was a knock on the door. He left to go answer it without a second glance at me. I started screaming.

"You can't just leave me in here! Let me out! Get me out!" I started rocking the chair back and forth trying to make as much noise as possible. Unfortunately all that happened was that the chair fell backwards. This was going to be a long day.

I heard mumbling upstairs and footsteps. The door creaked open. "Can you please help me up?" I heard someone (that was not Bobby) snicker. The chair was lifted up and what I saw I almost couldn't comprehend. "Dean Winchester has returned" I was shocked, none of the angels expected him to come back out of the pit. I didn't even hear them ask how I knew his name. The shot gun was cocked and a bright smile lit up my face for the first time in years. "You don't know how amazing this is. We have a chance. We can win the war now..." I started rambling which was unlike me. At some point not even I knew what I was saying.

"Shut up" Bobby interrupted my string of thought. I looked up to him.

"You know, I'm starting to like you."

"Great. Now your going to answer my questions or bad things are going to happen, understand?"

I nodded because I didn't trust my voice. "Why are you here?"

"I need protection"

"From what"

"I can't tell you" He growled in frustrations. After an hour of more questions and no answers he left me and walked upstairs to the room Dean had gone to about 20 minutes ago. "Can you at least un-cuff me?" I called up to Bobby's retreating form. "No" was his gruff reply.

_Scar Tissue that I wish you saw_

_Sarcastic Mr. Know-it-all_

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause_

_With the birds I'll share_

_With the birds I'll share_

_The lonely view_

_With the birds I'll share_

_This lonely view_

_Push me up against the wall_

_Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra_

_Fallin' all over myself_

Dean walked in while I was singing Scar Tissue by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

"Why are you singing?"

"Cause you wont occupy me."

"What are you?"

"Human"

"What were you?"

"That, Detective, is the right question." he tried to ask me more questions but I ignored him and started to finish the song I was singing.

_To lick your heart and taste your health 'cause_

_With the birds I'll share_

_This lonely view..._

Dean walked out the room and shut the heavy iron door behind him.


	2. Hate My Life

**Authors Note: I'm not a big fan of these so I'll make this short and sweet. I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I only have 1 follower so I'm kinda low on incentive. The chapter tittles are songs that I think fit that chapter. I suggest you listen to them but, hey, its your life. I love reviews but will not bribe you for them. If theres anything confusing or you have a suggestion please review. I will takes suggestions for the ending, I need that. Thats about it.**

Hate My Life

I sat in the dark room, the only light coming from the hole in the roof that the fan was positioned in. I ran out of songs to sing about an hour ago, which meant i've been here a **long** time. I started singing Hate My Life by Theory of a dead man for the fifth time. It seemed to fit my circumstance quite well. Bobby chose that moment to walk in. He un-cuffed me and roughly pulled me up.

"Nice to see you to" I muttered.

"We need to go, and I'm not about to leave you here by yourself."

"Thank god"

We got into the car and I had to talk Bobby out of hand cuffing me to the door. I really don't understand men. I thought I understood Cas but apparently I didn't. No, don't go there, not in a car full of strangers.

After a couple hours I fell asleep. Have I mentioned that I hate being human? I had nightmares and was woken up by Dean when we go to a hotel in an un-known place.

"Stay in the car." He ordered.

Great, now I was being ordered around. This day could not get any worse. I thought back to my nightmares, trying to make sense of the blur of shapes and colors. There were no images in it just an unpredictable blend of blurry shapes. Something about it struck fear in me though. The kind of fear that made me want to run and hide, blurred or not. I was broken out of my thoughts by the rev of the engine. I looked to my side and saw a man sitting next to me. I knew him, but from where. My jaw dropped open and I tried to get out of the car. Bobby noticed my attempted escape and locked the door. I looked back to the man next to me. Sam Winchester, lucifers true vessel was sitting next to me. I don't know why but that struck a fear in me worse than any nightmare.

After we ate at a dinky dinner, we stopped at an old motel and I shared a room with Bobby. Either I'm imagining things or he was starting to trust me more. The first option is more likely. We were currently at Dean and Sam's room. They were looking at books trying to find out what had burned there friends eyes out. I was sitting in the corner singing Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park. As you probably noticed, I love music. Dean turned around and yelled at me to stop singing. I started humming instead. Sam got irritated and decided to leave for a burger. As soon as we heard the Impala (I don't know how that got here) drive away, Dean stood up and motioned for us to do the same. We walked out into the calm night and I looked up towards the sky, sending a silent prayer that one of the angels will find some sense and bring me back. There was no answer.

I got into Bobby's truck without hesitation. I really wanted them to start to trust me. As soon as they learned about angels I would tell them the truth. I couldn't tell them now because they'ed never believe me. Dean explained that he planed to go after the 'son-of-a-bitch' that burned Pamela's eyes out. We got to an abandoned warehouse and they locked me in the car. Again. I fell asleep with my head against the glass and my feet up on the drivers seat.

I woke up from the sounds of gun shots and couldn't stop the scream that escaped my lips. I had the nightmare again. Only this time I almost saw through the blur. I saw a pair of eyes, blood red and murderous eyes. The car door opened and I almost screamed again. Castiel was standing out side the door. He had sorrow and remorse in his eyes but I pushed past him and ran into the warehouse, all fear gone and replaced by anger. Bobby was asleep on the floor and Dean was scared shitless. It would have been a comical sight if Castiel hadn't followed me into the building. I walked towards Bobby and woke him up with a hard shake. He slowly sat up and silently looked at me as if he couldn't believe I didn't murder him in his sleep.

Castiel put a hand on my shoulder and I got up. I turned towards him and slapped him. Hard.

"I'm so sorry"

"Don't even try"

"You don't understand"  
"Oh I understand, you didn't want your precious reputations ruined so you let them take my life instead."  
"I made sure you weren't killed."

"I'm as good as dead"

He stopped talking, which was smart on his part. Dean looked up confused. "What the hell is going on here?" he all but shouted.

Castiel decided to answer that. "I am an angel of the Lord." Dean snorted "An angel just got bitch slapped by her? You really expect me to believe in angels after all that I have seen? Who are you really?"

"I am the one that gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition. I am an angel of the Lord."

After a long trip home, or to whatever home I have left (a.k.a Bobby's house) I collapsed on the bed that Bobby let me borrow. I was alone and wasn't able to hide my emotions any longer. I started crying, I never cried no matter how much pain I was in I never cried but this, after all this, it was to much. I finally snapped. I heard my door open. I decided to keep whatever little dignity I had left and dried my eyes before the person entered my room. "What do you want" I snapped at them. My peers in heaven always thought I was a hard person with no personality except the cold vibes I always sent there way. Maybe they where right, but Castiel always said I was a sweet and loving person, Castiel always saw the best in me. Maybe thats why I loved him, he always saw behind my mask and wanted me for the real me. The person walked in and I saw it was Bobby. "Are you crying?"

"No" I replied to quickly.  
"What is it?"

"None of your concern" there was no point in denying it since he had obviously caught me.

He just sat next to me and looked out the window. After about 10 minutes he started asking me questions again.

"What are you?"  
"Human"

"What where you?"

I hesitated "Angel". I had an ashamed look on my face. I don't exactly know why but I felt humiliated of the fact that I once belonged to the group of angels that pushed me off of heaven.

"Why are you here?"

I would have answered but Castiel chose that moment to walk in. I looked away, I couldn't bare to see the look in his eyes. I knew it would be the same mix of emotions that he wore when my wings were ripped off. If I saw the hurt in his eyes I would surely run to him and kiss him and beg him to stay with me, but I couldn't because that would be a weakness. I don't show weakness and I certainly don't show forgiveness.

"She is here because of me." he whispered.

Bobby looked between us confused. "Can you leave the room please." he said, his voice louder now.

"No, Bobby please stay." I said. I put false courage in my voice but as always Castiel saw through the charade.

Bobby stood up and looked back and forth between the two of us as if he couldn't decide who to listen to. I gave him a pleading look and he sat back down with a small sigh.

"Castiel leave." I said, real confidence starting to seep into my voice.

"No. You are not my leader any more, I need not listen to your orders."

"I don't care whether I am under your command or your commander, I want you to leave, now."

When he didn't leave I turned my head and gave him a hard glare. He must have saw the coldness in my eyes because he left with a small flap of his wings. Poor Bobby was still as confused as ever.

I woke up in the morning with an empty feeling in my stomach. I went to the kitchen to eat and found Bobby, Dean, and Sam waiting for me at the table. As I walked in Sam stared at me motioning for me to sit at the rectangular table. I chose the only empty seat which was across from Bobby, next to Sam and diagonal from Dean. I liked having as much space between me and Sam because, no matter how nice he has been to me, something about him scared me worse than anything ever had before.

"Why am in the middle of an intervention here?"

"We need to know more about you to help you." Sam was the one that replied.

"Ask away." I didn't like where this was headed.

"What are you?"

"Human."

Bobby sighed and restated the question even though he already knew the answer.

"What _where_ you?"

I smiled, but my smile faded when I realized I had to tell them if I wanted them to trust me. "Angel."

They where all shocked, well all but Bobby. Sam pulled out a knife, pushed me against the wall with his arm pushing against my neck, and held the knife against my throat.

I started choking. "Stop, please, I'm not an angel any more. Besides even _if_ I was, angels are good. Most of the time."

I probably should have left out the last sentence because it made Sam push the knife, and his arm further into my throat. I could feel the warm sticky fluid running down my neck and onto my shirt. My breath was starting to get strained and I saw black spots run in my vision. He started to ask me more questions, something about why I was there, and other things to that extent but I couldn't answer. Hell I couldn't even breath. I started to struggle, I clawed at his arm and kicked my legs but he was to strong and I was barely breathing. He got angry at my lack of response and was about to kill me, but Castiel flashed in. He took Sam by the shoulder and threw him against the wall opposite to us, knocking him out. I fell to floor trying to catch my breath. Dean and Bobby tried to go help Sam but Castiel sent a glance to them and they fell to the floor coughing blood. I had finally caught my breath and was trying to stand up to go over and help the boys. Castiel was at my side immediately trying to help me up. I wrenched my arm out of his grasp and tried to walk towards them. Sam came back to consciousness just in time to watch me take a towel off the kitchen sink and wipe the blood from Dean and Bobby's mouth. Every one was silently watching me as I went over to Sam and gently placed my hands on either side of his head, checking for any blood. Castiel walked over to me again and gently grabbed my arm. He pulled me away from the boys and was about to flash out with me, but I struggled against his grip and broke free. He looked at me with a heart broken look and flew away.


End file.
